Cross that bridge when we come to it
On July 12, 2022, I accepted a position to serve in Mexico. I was excited, of course. But the strongest feeling was a sense of relief. There was a sense of stability and confidence that came from having a place “locked in,” a big decision made, and an answer to give to those who asked.
Making decisions is usually very difficult for me. As I’ve learned more about myself over the years, I’ve started to see glimpses of some reasons why. One of the biggest reasons, I think, is because I see every decision as having a domino effect…some, for years to come.
I remember my computer purchasing decision at the end of summer 2021. I’d made a string of unsuccessful attempts to obtain a working Windows laptop. I was moving to Canada in two weeks and still didn’t have a fully functional laptop. Out of desperation, I thought about purchasing a Macbook. But I couldn’t consider this without tripping over the thought, “I can’t have a Macbook and work with a translation team!” I barely had a clue about linguistic software yet, and was only one year into my grad school journey, yet I was paralyzed in my decision-making by some unknown but seemingly probable future. I forgot the decision wasn’t irreversible.1
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” is hardly a part of my vocabulary. I’d rather map out the journey, research the bridge and bridge-crossing methods, and after having thoroughly considered all possible options, propose a detailed plan. All before stepping foot on the path that leads to the bridge.2
While this is a skill that is useful to an extent, the trouble is, this method relies on my ability to know enough to determine what to research, where to find reliable information, how to evaluate that information, and how to predict the precise process of the journey and the conditions we’ll find ourselves in when we reach the bridge. Essentially, it requires me to be an expert in bridges before I ever come to them.
Is that a fair and reasonable expectation to have of myself, especially as a young person just starting her career? I have to admit, it is not.
One of the characteristics of someone just starting out is that they don’t know what they don’t know. They can’t get the information they need because they don’t know all the right questions to ask (or whom to ask). And they don’t know what questions to ask until they have more information. A bit of a catch 22, isn’t it?
So often, being faced with a decision reminds me that I am a “creature” who cannot, in fact, see the future coming. While yes, I have the natural ability to discern future impacts that merit present consideration, this is a gift from God, not intended to be relied upon to the exclusion of the giver of wisdom himself. For he is the only one who truly knows what the future holds.
I believe this type of thinking becomes problematic when it stems from fear of what could go wrong. If I fear that not calculating every decision based on its potential impacts 10 steps ahead will cause things to go terribly wrong, it shows I am not willing to trust the future to the hands of God.
God doesn’t intend for me to strive to predict the future in order to make decisions that I must face in the present. Rather, he tells me to pray for wisdom—to ask the one who give generously of it to all who approach him for it (James 1:5).
He intends for my weaknesses and limitations to lead to strength, as they lead me to him. He gives me the information I need when I need it and doesn’t ask me to make a decision too soon. So, the gaps and questions that linger in my mind at the moment in which I must commit to a direction? He asks me to trust him with them. He asks me to accept the grace he gives for the moment and trust an unknown future to the hands of a known God. And when that future arrives, inevitably bringing challenges, I turn in faith to him who provides, knowing he has already prepared me to meet them.
1 “Make reversible decisions as soon as possible and make irreversible decisions as late as possible. When decisions are reversible, make them fast. Your biggest risk is dragging your feet and not making a decision. The cost to acquire additional information isn’t worth the effort. When decisions are irreversible, slow them down. The biggest risk is making the wrong decision. The cost to get the information we need to reduce uncertainty is worth the time and effort.” (source) — By the way, I bought the Macbook, used it for a year and a half, then sold it and bought a Windows laptop with the money I received. :)
2 It’s especially fitting to this metaphor that I’m actually terrified of crossing bridges on foot. I did not succeed in crossing the bridge in this picture!